Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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