I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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