i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
pop tarts are not kleenex
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
