that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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