she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
