Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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