On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Randomize