He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i will never coherently bang her
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
