someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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