Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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