i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
