he shaved USA in his pubs
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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