How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
