whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
