It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
