if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
