bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my liver is dry heaving
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
