dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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