Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
