I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
