I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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