he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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