Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I think i got beer on your cat.
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