dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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