Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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