return my video game
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
