i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
