Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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