ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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