first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The uberlube is also flammable
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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