I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
