yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
