There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
tell me about the fingering
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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