I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
