I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
