I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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