idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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