I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
