Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
