Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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