Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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