My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize