This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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