that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
