I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
