So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
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All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
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Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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