ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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