I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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