Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize