The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
