You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize