belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
