can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
