I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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