I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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