I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize