the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Who died my cat blue again?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize