is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
