dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
