I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
