Please, let me fuck your mom
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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