Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize