Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
