well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
