and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
