At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
