..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
