I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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